A new season
July 18, 2017 § Leave a comment
Today marks the first day of second year semester 1 for me, which also means that I’ve done a year of university. Just a few reflections I gathered during the winter break about the season that passed:
I really like what I’m doing and studying, and the times of stress I caused to myself was definitely not study-related but I’m glad studying was always a way of escaping and relieving, because it wasn’t that packed to being with.
School load here is nowhere near compared to back home during poly where I was taking up to 6 units and had 9-5 classes everyday. The teaching style here is more concept based rather than memory-based, and you find yourself from there. Though concepts were easy to grasp, applying them was a challenge, and I learnt ways of better understanding instead of pure memorizing which cannot retain information for long.
I ended up switching majors to Marine conservation after being taught the introductory units, I just loved the social aspect about it, or maybe because Sarah is social scientist which rubbed off on me. Aquatic biology was truly addictive as James teaches with so much zeal and passion, I feel like anyone would be drawn to the marine life if James were to share with them, he just sells aquatic biology like a pro. From no brain sponges to brilliant cetaceans, the evolutionary journey of marine organisms is so dynamic yet inter-connected, and ingenious. I am extremely lucky and honoured to be the last class taking this unit, though I feel really sad for the future batches who have no idea how great it used to be. Oceanography is more than just blue waves, and I respect Chris who is patient with concepts, knowing the difficulty of understanding the science of the ocean.
I did really well for this semester, but I can’t promise that for the next one, though I will give my very best. Besides academics, I have also learnt much from the school of God this season, and have grown multi fold in spirituality and emotional well-being. A lot was dealt with, a good amount of ugly was revealed, but I saw myself for the first time in a long long time, being present at where I am, and embracing myself for who I am, for what I’ve done, and for what I’m going to do. What’s more than anything is that I felt the love of God in me, and that was so much more than I bargained for. I only asked for forgiveness, but He love us even before we were born. I was blind towards the ones that cared, and I struggled to love and be loved. Every waking moment I had to be conscious about my actions, that made me a little overwhelmed and confused at times. God took me out from those places, and sat me down, and mended me. I was broken, and only God could see it and fix it.
It has been a season of mental and physical pain, internal battles, confusion, uncertainty, unworthiness, ungratefulness, selfishness, and guilt. But in the end it was okay.
Psalms 30:5 For His anger is but for a moment, but His favour is for a lifetime. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.
So I shall conclude that the past year has been surreal, and totally real, and I can’t wait for what’s in store for me tomorrow.