March 13, 2016 § Leave a comment
I feel unsettling, uneasy, unsound. An imaginary hindrance in my mind, at the back of my throat almost choking me, churning in my stomach, putting me in some sort of strange agony.
What’s going on now? Why do I feel this way?
I have so much fears- fear of not being on par with others, fear of not reaching up to the expectations of others, fear of not being enough, fear of not being good enough, fear of being too much, fear of making mistakes, fear of falling, falling deep, into a bottomless pit where no one is down there, except for me, my meaningless self, and I. And I can’t get back up.
I fear. And yet I hope. How much can my hope take on? I’m easily shaken, my faith continually doubted, my hope always lost.
Like a puzzle that undergone a manufacturing error, with missing pieces, and pieces that never fit. The final outcome doesn’t make sense, it’s not a clear picture.
How do I deal with this?