Everchanging but there is Nothing like You

December 24, 2015 § Leave a comment

As of now its half an hour more to Christmas, and a few more nights to year 2016.

This morning I think I had an epiphany about change. As usual I was dwelling in my own depression of his words and what I wished he didn’t really meant.

“What can I do?”

“Change is inevitable.”

But more than that, ” But I don’t need you now” stabbed the deepest.

I remember trying to explain to him how I understood that he doesn’t need me now, but I just wanted to be by his side if he ever does. And the more we should hang onto each other in this very time, to protect each other from straying apart.

It hurt seeing that he once understood this point of view, but not now, not today. It hurt even more knowing that I too, could not understand back then, and he is about to repeat what I feel now as my regretful past.

Recently thanks to a great friend of mine who invited me back to Him, it was all too raw and blur but I was just focusing about being in the moment. His moment. And I came to realise that He was trying to tell me what I was trying to tell him.

He must have been hurt.

Regarding inevitable change, I remember pondering about the principles we owned, the beliefs we put our faith in, the constant we hold onto,  as we change life and and it changes us. And how I admired people for that as it was too complex to find a constant and stick to it. But I think He has helped me to unfold this constant complex. Like a tree to stay grounded while reaching heavenward.

Its difficult to see. Always in motion is the future. – Yoda

As of now, its Christmas.

 

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